A Winter Week

With your winter Olympic correspondent Wazza Frompetersham.

Men's Downhill.
So its finally under way.....the downhillers were let out of their kennels today and, god dang, they didn't disappoint purist alpine ski fans with plenty of offages and some amazing ski control on an increasingly choppy course. The upper slopes glazed over in some sunshine and gave (gulp) extra speed to the later starters. It only gave about .03 of a second advantage to the skiers who ran the correct temperature wax and skied the right lines, but in down hill thats a full ski length, to the rest of us mortals its daylight.
There were also a fair share of upsets as the pre-race raging hot favourite Didier Cuche was setting the fastest times in practice all week at Whistler while dominating this years season long world cup. Cuche slipped .30 of a second off only managing to slide into 6th, with compatriot 31 year old fully trained architect Didier Defago taking it out with a time of 1min54.31sec ending Switzerland's 22 year downhill drought since the great Permin Zurbriggen took out Calgary '88. It was a popular victory setting the cowbells in the crowd into a frenzy.
In second was the big man from Norway, Axsel Lund Svindal. Svindal took silver after a long time sitting on top waiting to be toppled at the end from the Swiss armada with 2 of the last three to start being from the land of chocolate, watches and diplomatic blandness. Still it means Norway, even having the great Lasse Kjus once in their stocks, have not been able to crack it for an Olympic downhill gold. Something Aussies Jono Brauer and Craig Branch can take heart in after their predictably crap times today. At least Jono didn't crash. On to Russia lads!
A cool surprise was Bode Miller. Surprising not that the American was fast, that's expected by this self confessed nutcase. He famously left the mainstream US ski team and has been funding his own tilt for several years. After his disaster that was Salt Lake City, the US coaches wanted to bar him from, wait for it, partying! Miller wanted nothing of that. He has only recently re-joined the US Ski Team coaching system.
No, what was surprising was he held onto his often stupid speed that sees him crash more than finish. But its the Olympics, and he had the last laugh taking out Bronze .09sec off the pace and one would assume sticking a piece of bronze in an uncomfortable dark place of US skiing in the process.
ALBERTO "LA BOMBA" TOMBA SAYS - "Finally de man gets to ski de shuss and show how fast I was-a 20 years agos. Even see ambulanza man was faster than see ski-ers!!......che?....oh he iza from Swisserlanda? Vai fungulo amico!!"

Men's Boardercross.
Well lets be frank, from an Australian point of view, it was a disappointment. These happen a lot in boardercross. Everyone knows being fastest means nothing if you can't finish. There is no other sport where Ricky Bobby could be so right in saying if you ain't first you're last.
Alex "Chumpy" Pullen lived up to his nickname and came a-cropper in the first round to miss out after qualifying first. Damon Hayler crashed in the third round in second place and needing only to stay upright. He was cruelly tripped up by a leprechaun hiding in the snow.
Alex <span class=
Alex "chumpy" Pullin - Not feeling so radical now..........

American Seth Wescott went on to win his second Olympic gold in only the event's second running in an Olympics, taking the first tournament in Turin as well. Second was taken cruelly by Canadian Mike Robertson after he was clearly in the lead after two thirds of the course. But Robertson was too cute and conservative for the remainder of the course, allowing Wescott to blaze past and steal the show from the Canadians at Cypress Mountain yet again.

Figure Skating
Yes...ok...I'll write about it........It was the medal round of the Pairs today so I guess it should be noted. It was one two'ed by the Chinese with third taken by a couple of Cossacks. The evening was highlighted by a decidedly scripted celebration cued only by the coaches telling the winning pair. They would have put Dale Begg-Smith to shame as their scores were read out. The female was suitably excited when prompted but the best fake celebration ever goes to the male partner. The best he could muster was some understated "ahhh's" while hugging his partner at forearms length combined with an overly affectionate distant stare to the other side of the auditorium. These two are also married, and the romance was there for all to see.

And finally a dishonourable mention goes to television idiot Eddie McGuire. While interviewing "chumpy" Pullin this evening the clown also announced the winner of the tournament after only the second round. Channel nine went on to show the rest of the competition, but not before Ed the idiot had told the nation who had won that hadn't watched it live this morning. A sure fire ratings winner that, nice one s#!t for brains.

Also if you get the chance check out Bryan Adams at his vocal best. He totally muffed his lip synch cue in the opening ceremony while in close-up frame. There are no vids yet. Matter of time.

Peace out.
Wazza Frompetersham.

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